Ping Zhu

0:01 [Applause]

0:06 thank you for being here thank you thank you it's really nice to be here.

0:08 And I appreciate it before I get started I did want to say that this talk is not going to really be about my commercial work. But instead that personal project that Matt mentioned and I really didn't think that in the beginning of my career I'd show an image like this for a talk but this talk is really for people who are at the beginning of their careers and trying to figure out what that path looks like as well as anyone who kind of feels like a little stuck in their creative practice because this business is pretty difficult so anyway everyone else don't worry it's only 10 minutes long so it's not going to be forever okay.

0:48 So I didn't say I wasn't going to show you any of my work though because I feel like there's a little bit of context involved and so basically just a little history I during art school had seen a lot of presentations like this and had seen work like this and was basically wondering how I was ever going to get to that point it was inspiring for me.

1:09 But it also left me really wondering how I was ever going to contribute to this industry and whether or not that was possible I also understand if you feel that way right.

1:20 Now I'm sorry I think many of us who end up in the commercial Arts are really trying to find a career path for self-expression there's a lot of people. And institutions out there who are enthusiastically supportive of that life.

1:35 But I think the less talked about is that once you arrive here that the value of your work versus time and energy and many isn't really talked about so even less than that itself is like how to find a place for yourself and you know your mental health especially with all the responsibilities of maintaining a life with a job that involves creative creativity and ideas so basically after graduating my motivation for Career Success was not to disappoint my parents who had just taken a huge Financial Risk by letting me go to Art School it was really not a relaxing time to start anything and the pressure was very much felt and they also reminded me verbally constantly so that could be very familiar for some of you.

2:21 And it's also very hard to trace the lineage of my career because I don't really know EXA actly what led to which outcomes but I do know that during the time at the beginning of my career I tried really hard to stay productive and was as hungry as I any of anyone who starts a career for a sense of stability I credit a lot of it to luck honestly I think also maybe entering some illustration competitions helped the social media landscape was also not at the fever pitch that it is today.

2:55 So I think people were much more willing to share each other's work without this sort of like followback mentality and honestly I just posted as much as I could online I shared on Instagram I fangirled people on Twitter I just wrote and reached out I was relentlessly like I'm a fan I love your work love it.

3:14 And then. I just like drew things around me which all sounds like you know obvious things to do but it was also just what I had time to do and what I was able to do also animals as a subject matter were really was really popular so I drew a lot of dogs so maybe that's the answer this combination of like what I just said was basically the first three years of my career it's also important to note that my parents and my ex during that time were supporting me financially when I came up short for rent and other bills I think sometimes there's a lot of Shame involved in asking for help and you know there's a little bit of like judgment for those who ask for help I was not happy to be in that position.

3:55 But I also knew that I was not able to do it by myself so it did the plus side of that was that it gave me a lot of time to draw and explore ideas it's was like being sponsored by my family so this was a huge privilege and helped tremendously in those tumultuous years of trying to figure things out and you know your confidence is waning so I had the goal to be financially independent by the time I was like like as soon as possible and so by the time I moved to New York City in 2013 that was the case and I felt like that was the beginning of my career my real career that accomplishment might have happened due to being so single-minded about chasing that dream of being an illustrator I de prior deprioritized my relationship and moved to New York City alone I really got swept up in my new life of you know like it's exciting I felt like I had my feet on the ground for the first time soon enough I was consistently busy and I started taking on jobs that came my way without really any bias so just like a really intoxicating feeling to be like oh my God all these people want me. And I'm feeling cool but you know saying no just didn't seem like an option especially after feeling like I had worked really hard to get to that point and I felt like those sacrifices were made for this reason.

5:14 And it took many years before I was able to turn down any work without feeling ungrateful you know like it didn't feel appropriate to then just say like well I need some time for myself it seemed insane so work kept me busy in a way that was really socially acceptable here. And it was hard to think about giving that up.

5:34 So then a few years ago.

5:37 I was wondering about what makes my work mine this was especially after all the work for clients and people asking you for things and certain specs certain Dimensions colors you know all that kind of stuff so basically you know what I was wondering about was like what's my work Beyond just style and perception and voice um I think it started due to a lack of satisfaction with the client work not again like kind of balancing out that grateful and ungrateful feeling where. I was happy to have a portfolio because of those jobs but at the same time I was really like this isn't the work that I want to do for myself so I had no strong ideas for what I wanted to do because I had spent a lot of time working on jobs for other people.

6:19 So the questions that were really in my mind were like where where have my ideas been coming from why is doing a job so much easier when it's than doing something for myself and can I only come up with ideas if there's someone else's which are all pretty you know it's challenging to think in those terms because you want to believe that your ideas are your own so then what could I do to nurture my creative practices or what would finding like a boundary between my work as an illustrator and my own creative needs help nourish both of them.

6:51 So I was like what do I do I don't know snack and scroll was a really good solution which is basically exactly what it sounds like where you just snack lwn and then you scroll on your phone so I was really. Basically probably doing that exact thing when I stumbled upon this thing on Instagram that was going on called hourly Comics day and it was started by John Campbell in 20 205 and it gained popularity on a lot of different platforms and it's open to anyone who's interested in it.

7:20 But the premise is very simple it's basically that you draw every day every hour that you're awake on February 1st so it really appealed to me at the time because it was a super quick exercise and it wasn't really something you could plan for and the spontaneity was really exciting because you know. I was just sitting on the couch eating chips and not doing a lot.

7:41 So I felt like hey this is something I could probably do right now so here is my first attempt later that day back in 2018 so I was recounting the most memorable moments of like a pretty uneventful day and that act alone just made it slightly more interesting because I was I woke up with a really bad mood and I think the fact that all of this could have applied to like a few like 730s to 9:00 a.m during that time like I woke up pretty Grumpy in the winter I realized I didn't really follow the format correctly either it was just like I didn't know what I was doing and I was putting and like looking at this presentation I was like I did it in like 15 minute increments it was like called hourly Comics day so I you know like it was simple enough to figure out.

8:29 And I didn't do that.

8:31 But I have done better since and maybe it was because it was such an uninteresting day that first time that I did it the ups and downs came through pretty unexpectedly so like I woke up upset then. I was like happy to take the dogs out then.

8:46 I started having negative thoughts and then it started feeling good going on a run and then felt bad about not being able to continue and then like some self-care by like taking a shower and peeling skin off my feet which I thought was good to share to the world.

9:01 And then I ruined it by you know foam rolling my ass and then. So it wasn't really a surprise that also an argument would take place during that day and maybe it was really just too exhausting to continue this after 110 p.m.

9:14 But I decided to post this on Instagram anyway I just figured that my expectations were pretty low and that this whole activity was out of my wheelhouse and really personal more personal than any anything I had shared before because if you like look back at that Instagram like anything before that was really just like client work client work client work picture of my dog and then it was this.

9:39 So I was really hopeful that maybe the authenticity of this experience would soften any criticism and I could always delete it if people were mean so I was really relieved when there were like a lot of supportive comments people were referring to the humor they were relating to having negative thoughts I think there also was a request for the foam roll my ass piece so you know if anyone's really interested you can talk to me later so I skipped 2019 because I deleted Instagram off my phone because I went really hard on the snacking and scrolling thing.

10:12 So I needed to give myself a break but then when 2020 came around again I was back with the flu which really was maybe in retrospect coid but we'll never know so you decide for me right. So it's a debate between me and my boyfriend whether or not I had Co but you know you could have both or it could have just been the flu and it also really was kind of on theme with the whole like waking up in a terrible mood thing that I had already started and then in 2021 it was like a blizzard that I spent at home alone with my dog Uma and I think at this point it was really much more about like I felt a little bit more confident it was something that I was like oh yeah this thing's happening like let's see what happens today it was a snow day so I figured like everything.

11:03 That's going to happen is going to be indoors and really the peak of it was then just making homemade cheit which was like my own excuse to eat a huge block of cheese alone and then share that information online why then 2022 ended up being on Lunar New Year. So that year was quite fun as well because it came with a lot of things that you're not supposed to do as far as like superstitions go so that you can have like a great prosperous here.

11:29 So I felt like my boyfriend was really into throwing caution to the winds that day sorry Daniel he decided to take a shower in case I wasn't clear and that was one of the no NOS and then also you know spent the day basically realizing that the entire apartment was just like a booby trap of like things I wasn't able to do I was like oh maybe I can get mail and oh I I can't use scissors but I'll open this with this wrench and then it's like filled with things I can't even use like scissors and cleaning supplies and was like oh I'm hungry no it's filled with porridge which I can't eat so it was an interesting day and then also then this year was I almost forgot to do this whole thing because my brother came to visit.

12:09 And then at this point Daniel is now extremely like hyper censoring for February 1 because he knows he'll be highly featured so then he was saying how careful he had to be and then also what happened this year was that I think getting into some sort of like Rhythm I felt like then.

12:27 I started asking myself a lot of more philosophical questions and so and I guess at 3 P.M this year I was like I was on my period And I was like Wow when's the last one g to be and then.

12:42 I was like oh I'm just bloated it's fine so basically to sum it all up I used to think that personal projects were something that needed to be like a huge undertaking or you know that it needed to lead to jobs in order for it to feel like okay I spent time on this. And now it's like getting me all these like successful like you know whatever like just jobs that you can then talk about and there's always like a possibility considering the fact that I'm here talking about a personal project.

13:10 But that wasn't the original intent I like certainly wasn't like yes I'm going to talk to a bunch of people starting their careers or like people interested in the creative industry and be like here are my drawings about my period but honestly keeping hourly Comics day as a habit has given me a really reliable outlet for exploration it's you know continues to be fun and interesting it's so approachable honestly anyone could do it which is something that I really enjoy it's also a reminder of how like we're the only ones who can really Grant ourselves permission to take a break and know when we need to nurture our creative selves and be able to like find a reason to do something and that reason not being that you know it's supposed to lead to something else or anything other than just to be like you know water your garden a little bit.

13:55 So basically it's like work but not like work work in progress and I think the commercial Arts after you know a 10 year plus decade of career experience is a really in like demanding industry so I do think it's important to keep some of that for yourself in order to think of the long-term results of like what your life.

14:21 And interests will look like and also I wanted to say that maybe everyone already knows all this. And I am the last person this planet to be like work life balance is important so just in case I gave a talk about something everyone already knows I just made a comic about that just so I knew that that could be a possibility so didn't want to waste anyone's time thinking that I didn't know that that was possible so anyway thank you very [Applause]