Juno Calypso

0:16[Applause]

0:21thank you hi everyone thank you for coming this is my first time at n Tuesdays as a talker being here anything. So it's really nice thanks and I'm going to be talking to you about my latest project.

0:33But it's been bit bit of a long project I've been doing it for the last four years since I graduated and so I will just Begin by showing you images because that's what you want to see so just to begin with all my pictures are of me they're all self-portraits even though that term is a bit weird now because it's not myself it's kind of this character and so I have to point out that these are self-portraits because a lot of times I haven't just assuming people know. And it's ended ended up in these really awkward situations where they start commenting on how she looks and I'm there and they're like oh she looks a bit fat like a dog and I'm like and I'm just like oh she's a bit short I'm so yeah they're all me and they're all shot by me styled by me everything is just me alone I can't work with other people I've tried and I know it's really good to collab but I just can't do it it's just me alone and it's the way I found that I like to work.

1:33And so it's just the way I've continued so this was taken a few years ago three or four years ago when I began the project. And I didn't really know what I was doing I was still a student third year at University on my ba photography and I knew I just wanted to work in this way alone and making these kind of fantasy situations and so I would just pack a suitcase and go to like the nearest location I could think of that looked had the look.

1:55I wanted and it ended up just being my grandma's house because Grandma's house is are great they just look. So good and so I would go to my grandma's house and I didn't really know how to tell her what I was doing because I didn't have anything to show her I couldn't be like oh this is the project I just so I just I just kind of did it when she went out so when she went to the shop I took this picture and ran into her bedroom put on the wig and this was all on a large format film camera so I had to like change the film do all the stuff like and so in my hand clenched there.

2:26That's where I'm holding the little shutter release and so this was done in like 15 minutes before she came back and yeah. I just waited till no one was around and then when she started to get a bit suspicious I went to my other grandma's house which is the benefit of having two living grandmas but this was all the way in Malta so I was commissioned straight after University to continue the project to make a new set of images so I went to my other grandma's house in Malta and started to work there.

2:55And then she started getting a bit bit suspicious as well cuz you know it was it was a bit strange cuz she kept asking me like you know you on holiday do you want to like I'll take you out do you want to meet some people do you want like do you have any friends and like so yeah it was a bit weird they didn't really understand the loneliness of it like the the fact that I liked being alone so I went on Airbnb and so I found this place on Airbnb which was the best thing I've ever found on the internet but I I didn't realize you had to stay with the people as well sometimes like I knew like there's you can tick like private room or shared room I didn't know what I was doing so I turned up at this house and the whole family was there and they had this pink room and so I was like okay I'll just stay in the pink room but they just kept coming in and knocking on the door and like all the time.

3:44So I just waited till they went to sleep and I took this picture about 5: in the morning and that little plate is actually just yeah snacks real snacks that I'm having throughout this thing.

3:56So these shoots are very long it's about they can just go on and on you just lose yourself in them it's like you start at 900 p.m. And it ends at 8:00 a.m. Because you just you have to carry on until you have what you want and especially when there's a deadline as well you're like I can't just stay at this house pay the money and not come out with something good so this was a lot of work. And I also used the floor cuz the floor is always good and picked up some local treats I don't know canned meat it smelt really disgusting I was really sad when I had to open it.

4:30So yeah.

4:33So this was all straight after I graduated it was really good I was Commissioned I was working straight away on what I wanted to do and so I just kept alternating between Grandma's houses again and again I was like great great they've got the look and so this was another one I took in my grandma's bathroom and Everyone is always like oh wow what's this set that you've built what's this thing. And it's like no this is just how Grandma's role and yeah this was another one in her mirror and so you can see there's a bit of a theme going on with masks so a lot of my pictures my face is hidden which people read a lot into but really it just makes everything a lot easier because you don't have to put your face on or care about how your face looks I feel like the face is the one part of your body that if you see a bad picture of your face it's just like that's the day over so I always hide my face because it makes me feel more comfortable but then also it does start leading into these ideas about women and their faces and beauty and everlasting Beauty and I started collecting all these masks on eBay that are supposed to like I don't know rejuvenate your face and so the this mask vibrates until you're beautiful so so I've got loads of them.

5:41Now it's great if you just go on eBay and type in Beauty in the electronic section that is where I find everything it's great and so I have a load of these things. And I just take them all with me and just play around until I've made something that I like but then it got to the point where. I was like I know I I told my grandmas what I was doing by this point because I had the images and they were like oh that's nice so that was all right I told them what I was doing but I was like this isn't really pushing myself that far to just like go to my grandma's house and do this stuff I need to be an adult now I've been graduated for like two or three years.

6:14Now I need to do something serious that makes me feel kind of uncomfortable cuz this is just a comfort zone that I'm in right.

6:19Now I need to go somewhere that makes me feel really uncomfortable and just that looks even better than I kind of got bored of like this domestic setting I wanted to go somewhere that was like wow like crazy but I didn't have to rent on like a photographer fee kind of thing.

6:32So I started thinking about hotels and then. I decided it would be a good idea to go to a couples only honeymoon hotel resort in Pennsylvania by myself for a week and it was one of those places that was on like my number one dream location list and I was like a I'll never go there I'll go there when I'm 30 but then. I was like no I need to go now I need to make new work now like this is serious this needs to happen so I just booked it. And went and didn't really think about it until I got there. And it just got more and more Awkward as soon as I got there.

7:11So I turned up to this you had I went to New York had to get a three-hour coach outside of New York and to a diner in the middle of nowhere where that was where like the shuttle bus would pick you up. And so I walked in sat down with my two huge suitcases with like cameras and costumes and all this stuff and then the guy the shuttle bus guy came in and like poked his head around and he saw me and he was like just one and I was like yeah just me.

7:35And so I went along by myself to this honeymoon suite and just stayed there for a week making images and it was great it was like the best situation I could have been in cuz I was just locked away alone doing this. And I just worked throughout the night again just with my camera and my remote control just taking images that I thought would continue the project in the way that I wanted it to go but obviously they were like what are you doing here like why are you here.

8:04So I told them that I was a travel blogger which gets you really far these days and they were like oh great here's a key to every room in the [Laughter]

8:18resort so this was the champagne Suite where they had a six foot champagne glass that was really greasy from like everyone that had been in it before.

8:26So I had to wash it first but it was great like every room was a perfect location.

8:32So I was having the greatest time and just working every day and night taking new images and this was another one that I took in my room and I took a lot of sort of like wedding dresses and things that you would take on your honeymoon because I went there with the idea of just it looks pink and fun but that it did end up being about weddings and monogamy and blah blah blah but so I was pretty much alone for the whole time.

8:56But I did make one friend so the guy who rode that little shuttle bus he was called the love machine and he was the drive the official driver and we found out that. There was actually like 10 honeymoon resorts in the area where in the 60s it had been like the Heyday of honeymoons in America and then for people that like couldn't afford to go to Hawaii they'd go to Pennsylvania and so he was I was like oh have you heard about this abandoned honeymoon hotel like 20 minutes driveway and he was like yeah I can drive you there. And I was like oh this is weird and so so I was like okay it let's go and so we went and it was the best thing I've ever done like I'm not into all that abandoned photography stuff because it's so cheesy and so like deviantart.com but when I was there the people that had owned it had literally left and walked away.

9:47And so I came back with all this like ephemera all this all the stuff they'd left just all over the floor and so there were menus from the dining room pictures from the entertainment office where there' had been like people sending in their resume like please book me to be and all these things it was just a dream I was just scooping them all up it was like the floor was covered in it. And I came back with a nice suitcase of stuff from there. And so that kind of extended the project into this other thing.

10:11But then the guy got me really drunk afterwards cuz obviously I thought it was just a free ride I thought this guy is not creepy he just wants to take me to the abandoned Resort and we'll have a good time and he was very PG the whole time he just let me do my thing and he took some pictur pictures and I just walked around and then afterwards he was like so do you like margaritas and I was like yeah but in my head I'm like I'm here to make work I'm not here to like have a good time I'm just here to like suffer so me and him ended up getting really really drunk and I woke up the next day in my hotel room with one more day to take images here.

10:50And I thought I'm never going to come back to this place again like this is never like I can't afford like first of all this was all done from selling stuff on eBay to save the money to go there like I have I'm broke like this was a very Sho string budget trip and so I was like I need to make the best of this I need to take all the images that are possible in this one room because I'm never going to come back here again and so I woke up hung over and I was like like panicking like what can I do and so I was like what is the final thing I can do in this place like that will make the most of it.

11:21So I painted myself green and obviously it wasn't on a whim I brought the green paint with me.

11:31But it was just this idea I had of like you know what's the opposite of pink green what would look kind of science fictiony you know this kind of weird goddess thing what would be the thing to do so I covered myself in green paint and I climbed in the bath like a little spider and this was my final thing. And this was the image I was most happy with this was like the thing I walked away with feeling like yes I've done it all I painted myself green and it was all worth it.

11:58But the green paint didn't come out of the bath so I ended up spending three hours scrubbing the bath with bubble bath because I didn't have bleach ended up scrubbing and crying for about 3 hours after this shoot so it was a hard time.

12:13But it was also a good time and thank you very much for listening to me thank [Applause]

12:28you h