Duncan Cowles

0:04[Applause]

0:14thanks very much thanks - it's nice that for having me here and when I got the email asking me to do this it came in at the same time as to funding rejections so extra thanks for giving me some hope and in my life from my career so am yam Duncan I'm a filmmaker I went to Edinburgh College of Art where I studied documentary directing specifically and I still work in Edinburgh and that's me in my studio though where I spend most of my days when I'm not filming I'm in their editing em writing emails funding applications that rejected when I'm filming it can look a bit like this. That's me filming a man and his dog doing interviews or it could look like this what I'm trying to find people to talk to and there's none em or on a boat somewhere in the North Sea the other the other week there at 3:00 in the morning filming at sunrise which was good or sometimes just doing like a corporate video or whatever.

1:19That's like some stuff that I do as well try to keep a plan up with them whatever I can find for the background to the shot it's in very glamorous stuff so yeah but most of my flagship work centers our own kind of personal things or things that are close to me saw one of my more known films would be about my mum talking about a lamp where she just came into my room talking about a lamp for four minutes and I was filming a different film which wasn't very good but this happened while I was filming that other film. And this did a lot better than the other film or any of my films actually and yeah when they got about 350,000 views overnight which was a bit mad me my mum were in the newspapers and we went around film festivals and things which was which was yeah it was great and it kind of set me off and a bit of a path of filming my family so I am made my graduation film but my dad filmed all his family one of my first Commission's was about my granddad and I said my Tweety and then once at films all my family I then moved on and filmed my me it's family and so that's my mates grin and not mine should be should be clear Benny I'm skipping over all that. And I'm gonna talk a bit about one of my more recent films taking stock which was a film that also kind of came about by accident it was a sort of channel for random acts short and and I'm just going to show a quick clip em before talking all right filming better stock fridge you know it's filmmaking it's not gonna be much money in the moment so just yeah thought try and film this fish and sell online it'll place get it on the wall that I do you enjoy you know filmmaking it's not you know no the problem this is a fun activity it's great it's good that good that's nice no problems with it I found this crowd at a focused it make it look like news page then I filmed this field if we and to make maybe you know like see like there are like harvest or something I don't know.

3:31And then this Edinburgh Castle you know tourist board it's been really fun really really fun filming them.

3:36Now they realize he's not been not been that open up like saying yes this film similar to my mom just kind of come into my room with a lamp I was genuinely this was a few years later last year I was trying to actually make some money from stock footage I thought like I had this gap between work. And I thought and you know I'll just film stock moon footage and I'd seen online that you could kind of like make money as a site income and maybe get a pension on the go and things like that.

4:09And I sort of thought I'd crack the the secret if you know. I mean and after six months they'd only really solved this one clip of a frog so so I'd pretty much given up.

4:22But the problem was at although mommy it's really excitedly about how I was gonna make all this money and they found a radius that I wasn't earning any money from it. And sort of mid humiliation I thought oh like maybe I could talk maybe if they find it funny other people will find it funny and I could turn it into like a film.

4:40So I did what I kind of always do with new ideas and jot it down on my phone and so that's the original thing that kind of a typed out M which which is pretty much pretty similar to how the film. Actually turned out and there was a couple of spelling mistakes in there.

4:56So it genuinely is unedited since since I taped Oh M and then that turned into a three page proposal and then I sent it off and got got a commissioned and then. I was delighted because I'd managed to channel my failure into something. Actually positive and which I wish would be please please devote em in terms of actually making the film I'd already shot it which was great and so it was really just looking for the clips that had shot that had they had a deeper context or a deeper meaning within them.

5:28So this one of my mum and again slightly obsessed she that obviously tells the story when you realize it's my mom that I'm still living at home in that shot from my bedroom and it kind of gives you an image behind it similar to this one of me being down at the beach throwing rocks into the water trying to get it to land in the middle of the frame and they sort of give you this ridiculous image in your head so it was it was find in there man carving a narrative over them as best I could and then I kind of had a rough script and then also improvised a little bit. And sort of rambled through the script and then kind of improvised and sort of hoped that something.

6:09And something so a decent you know a little bit like what I'm doing just know to be honest with you. And I recorded all under my bed covers and which is what that.

6:18That's what it looks like that's when you're recording under your bed covers and so that yeah ridiculous and but it's good sound quality I much it's much cheaper than getting a studio and and it's got a really nice Center and I've done a couple of things for redo or for under there as well and there was no no complaints about em about the sound quality at least so this is the end this kind of the end of the film le or what to do something where at bounce toe similar to what I just did by showing you that the knee under my bed covers I wanted to the end of the film do that kind of show I ensure you have ridiculous a luchador I felt when I was filming and depressing it was so this is the last shot and I pretty much had that in my head as what was going to film but since I was going to the aquarium and spending 20 quid getting and I thought I might as well experiment with some different shots so I've got some alternative angles and so that one wasn't quite bleak enough for me although I did quite like the way the fish was just sort of creeping in from the side and that one was too close obviously a corporal that was to why he's getting other people in that didn't have permission for that one was too dark was a different camera brought a few along so I didn't know what if you could kick in I bet I could use I brought them along and one wasn't very good although he's actually about a camera than the one that I used in the end but anyway.

7:47So yeah that's the want to use what am I sayin no fast shot yeah. So and then at the end of that I wanted to then bone so again and actually have a kind of call to action to the audience which I thought would be quite fun so I used so did this and set up an actual that's a real email address that I set up and kind of hoped secretly that someone would email it. And I was breaching channel for guidelines so they actually took out of the broadcast version.

8:14But it's on all the online versions and yeah one man actually emailed me and wanted to buy one of my clips I was really happy about that except he wanted to buy the last shot of me filming and which was a bit weird but and 50 codes 50 quid so I roll him up a little agreement and send him over the clip and yeah god knows what it's gonna turn up to be honest with you.

8:39But yeah I'm a big believer in kind of sort of whatever you feel inside sort of listening to what you feel inside and sort of making the right project to the right time. Basically I mean I couldn't have planned taking this talk it was just taking the stock taking stock I couldn't a plan that I just kind of happened like life just sort of happened and then I kind of responded to it similar to my mom in the lamp I couldn't have scripted it just kind of happened and I then turned into a film I mean you can't always plan with these things you just have to yeah go with the flow and then sort of respond creatively and for me I just wanted to point out the kind of ridiculousness of freelance life and feeling a bit lonely as a freelancer the embarrassment of living at home I haven't got much money and seeing my friends and all that sort of with her there's you know real jobs and things kind of them buying houses I mean literally there's a girl in my street mmm from a high school who's actually bought a house right up this road from my parents house where I'm staying and with you know personalized numberplate and everything. So it's it's a it's really sort of like I wanted to use that kind of frustration I felt and say dispose and put it into a film.

9:51And I think that's what you know is one of the most important things about making films or making any kind of creative work is that understanding the deep motivation kind of within you that seems to be the stuff that does better from what our me cuz the things that I'm really. Actually feeling and they're really kind of in me. And important and I had no idea that people were going to find as relatable you know I presumed when you're stuck inside your own head you kind of think that you're the only one that well you are the only one there but but you you presume that no one else is going to think kind of the same way as you. And so it was a real weird thing from eeper in that film out there and realizing that other people also felt ridiculous being a freelancer or had the exact same experience film in stock food which was surprising I thought you know yeah I didn't and some people even found it moving I thought I just may is that people found it moving has no idea that people were gonna I actually find it emotional anyway.

10:46So yeah and it led to Ted's got in touch today. I had no idea all these positive outcomes we're gonna come the Ted got in touch and commissioned me to do a film about kind of em work feeling like your works not good enough and all the time kind of that pressure from your peers or industry that is maybe there or maybe isn't there a bit you're kind of in your head again over over thinking it and and just in general there's been a decent decent unknown and more in trying to speak this I knew it was gonna fall apart towards the end a decent a moment more interest in my work than than there was before. So it's been it's all that kind of yeah I'm just rambling though but yeah.

11:29So people like it's nice that got in touch as well about the stock thing that you watch there which is great and yeah people people looking for someone with a kind of miserable sense of humor generally have been getting in touch with me and getting me to do work which has been quite nice and yeah also the aquarium from the film which I didn't expect I don't really get permission to film in there properly so I was a bit worried when it went on TV that they might not be overly chuffed but M it turns out the guy who owns the aquarium was watching channel 4 at midnight when the film played and recognized his fish from the TV and and so I was panicking when I got an email from them the next day but it was fine they just wanted me to film some fish for them for their Facebook and for their Twitter and stuff so and so I was back there a couple of times this year a film and again the same fish but for them this time page was so you never know what's gonna happen and that's kind of my big takeaway as well as sort of you don't know what's gonna happen you have to go with a floor life dig deep into your heart. And soul as a creative be honest put it out there say what you're feeling through your work even if it feels ridiculous you're very likely not the only person that feels that way and especially if you're a freelancer working alone just know that there's a lot of us that have been there or are still there and yeah stay stay strong and so yeah thanks very much. And if you want to see any more of my stuff it's yep it's there well you can find anything I'm doing on my website or I'm not Vimeo or watch all the films that I mentioned that earlier and yeah a new stuff there'll be new stuff at some point as well right I will I will stop now thanks thanks very much for listening [Applause]